Japanese Wedding Gift | A Pair, or One Piece They Share

A wedding gift in ceramic pays off not on the day you hand it over, but in the memory it leaves over the years that follow.

A mug gets picked up around four hundred times a year per person. For two, double that. Over ten years it stays in their daily life longer than most appliances. So when you choose a piece as a wedding gift, do not judge it by how it looks on the day of the ceremony. Judge it by whether it will still be setting their table, and holding a memory, years from now.

This article covers how to decide between a pair and a single piece, what to budget, which shapes actually get used, and when to send it.

A pair, or a single piece

Wedding gifts bring matched pairs to mind first, but there are two ways to go.

Because handmade pieces each carry their own surface, a pair is never a strict pair. The size and form match while the color and the landscape shift slightly. That state, matched but not identical, actually works in a gift's favor.

For something shared between two people, large plates, bowls, vases and donabe are the usual answers. A shared piece brings them both in every time it is used.

What to budget

The customary amount shifts with the relationship. Roughly, in ceramics:

When you are torn, one better piece is remembered longer than six modest ones. A single large plate the two of them share stays in memory as the one they were given, in a way that half a dozen small plates never do.

By shape: what actually gets used

Ranked by how often they come out, the order is fairly settled.

• Mugs and cups　Most people drink something warm in the morning, so these get used the most. If you do not know their hand size, 250-300ml is safe. Mugs
• Sake ware　If they drink together in the evening, a guinomi and katakuchi pairing works well. Sake cups and servers
• Individual plates　A 5 to 6 sun plate, roughly 15-18cm, sets the table every day, for both Japanese and Western food. Plates
• Donabe　Something they gather around in winter. Practical, and still memorable as a gift. Donabe clay pots
• Vases　The answer when you do not know their taste in tableware. A single-stem vase needs almost no space. Vases

For sizing, see the sun to cm conversion table; for the shapes themselves, see the basics of Japanese tableware.

Why ceramics suit a wedding

In Japan, ceramics have long been given as something that receives good fortune. An open form is said to take luck in, which is why large plates and sakazuki appear at celebrations.

The painted motifs carry meaning too. Crane and tortoise for long life, pine and bamboo and plum for strength through the seasons, karakusa scrollwork for something that continues without a break. For a wedding, karakusa or pine is the message itself. The motifs are read out in what the patterns mean.

Handmade pieces come with a maker's name. When someone asks where it came from, the region and the potter come out with it. Only a gift with a name carries a conversation.

When to send it

Traditionally a gift arrived up to a week before the ceremony. These days after the wedding, or once they have settled into a new home, is perfectly fine.

In fact about a month into their new life avoids the week when everything arrives at once, and by then you can see what they actually use. For ceramics, that is a good moment.

If you are sending to someone overseas, check delivery times and wrapping in advance. Details are on the gift page.

Three things to settle first

Decide these three before you start looking and the choosing goes quickly.

• 1. Shared, or one each　Shared means a large plate, a vase or a donabe; one each means a pair of mugs or rice bowls
• 2. Every day, or for occasions　Every day points to porcelain; occasions point to a one-of-a-kind piece by a named artist
• 3. How much care they will give it　Porcelain is wash and put away; kohiki and yakishime ask for a little attention

If you cannot answer the third, choose porcelain. It absorbs no water, needs no medome, and takes the dishwasher. The material differences are set out in pottery versus porcelain.

Related reading

Choosing a gift

• Japanese pottery as a gift | How to choose a piece to give
• What the motifs mean | Crane, pine, wave and karakusa
• Pieces that last a lifetime | Not replacing things, as a sustainable choice

Before you choose

• Japanese tableware basics | The first five pieces and how to use them
• Sun to cm conversion | A quick size table for Japanese tableware
• Pottery and porcelain | Four ways to tell them apart
• Caring for Japanese tableware | Washing, storing, stains

Browse by shape

• Japanese Mugs | Handmade Ceramic Mugs from Japanese Potters
• Japanese Sake Set | Ochoko, Guinomi Cups and Tokkuri
• Japanese Plates | Handmade Ceramic Plates from Japan
• Donabe | Japanese Clay Pot for Rice and Hot Pot